Saturday, March 20, 2010

Random intermissions: Church

Wea 2start, wea 2start....oh, yeah... I finally managed 2go 2 church 2times this/last month! Gud tidings i say. Bt i ges it wud hv meant sth if i actually listened 2 th priest. i ges i'm lk d worst catholic ever...why?
Last time in confession 2003
Last time i actually genuflected, 2003
Last time as an altar boy 1999 wen i ws jst a kid he he...n no, neva sat on a priest's lap!
Last time i read th scripture in church, 2003
Last time i took communion, Jan 2004
Most last things i actually did r in 2003 cz dats wen i left seminary. Mayb a rational explanation is that i believe i accumulated enaf prayer pts 2 last me a couple of years.

Anyhoo sunday i went 2church n as th priest ws blabberin incoherent words i scanned th crowd 4familiar faces. None. Thing bout our church is dat most people knw me bt siwamesei poa. Mostly cz of family n wen we moved hia i kinda kickd ass educationally. Th priests knw me cz of th seminary connection...n th fact dat one requirement 2stay in seminary ws u had 2do volunteer work @ th church, which i adamantly refused 2do, cz of 2reasons:
1. I didnt gv a shit...esp cz d stupid priest wntd me 2work on his garden! Wots th deal wit white guys n gardening?
2. U cnt refer 2 it as volunteering if i don hv a say in th matter...didnt knw ow 2put th dictionary thru their thick skulls!

Long story short i refused 2 volunteer. So th Father tried 2 gt me kickd out of a couple of factors saved my ass:
1. After th volunteer work thea ws a form they wrote comments on behaviour, character n bull lk dat. Thing is we delivered them in person. Here's a trick most of ya'al don knw, if u hold a sealed envelope over alot of steam, it peels open as if it ws neva sealed, so u cn do whatever u want wit th contents, edit, white wash, throw away,rewrite a gud th bad rap neva fikad. Am i gud or what?

Th priest also used normal snail mail 2 send th bad my grades came in. U just don kick out sbody wit an IQ of 125+ cz of stupid reasons! Plus back then i lukd rily rily innocent, unlike now. Nobody wud hv suspected dat i dit anything bad, we got drunk, brewed, went a couple other nasty stuff. Did i mention porn? Kazi ya JJ...

Where was i? Train of thot rily got derailed. Nwy i don socialize so much at our church. I'm still catholic, bt th abstinence thing doesnt rily go down well. Plus i got my reservations wen it kams 2 abortion n other subjects, which might gt me excommunicated!
Again, so i scanned arnd 4familiar faces n wen dat failed 2return favourable results, i scanned booty or sth out 2catch a cold.
Th only favourable result ws this chix who seems 2b everywhere i go. Wen i chuck frm our gate, who do i bump into? Her!
I use a crazy combination of alleyways 2avoip peeps i don wana gas wit n who do i bump into?
I go 2church n who do i c first thing wen i enter? I've seen her more in 2days than....jijazie.
I knw sh cnt b stalkin cz i'm nt @home dat much, plus nobody knows my routine, hell, even i don knw my routine!
Nwy sh wnts us 2b an item or sth lk i got this rule regardin chix frm our fuckin way! n th double entrendre is intended!
It all started wen i ws 17...this chix ws always hitn on me beggin me 2go help her "put up posters" in her room(n girls say our lines r lame). Wen i chickend, sh got mo aggressive n action most of my frnds knw puts me in th fuck-off-b4-i-tear-u-a-new-one mode. So i tell her 2fuck off.
A month later, ges who turns out pregnant wit a poor sucker "baby daddy" at her arm! Th kid died a few yrs i didnt gv a shit. I don sympathise wit bitches, no matter th circumstance. S long as i avoided dat trap kul. Wen th incident repeated wit 2other random chix, it bcame a hell no. Kwanza th last one ws rily hot, bt my buddy cautioned me bout easy things!
Plus now gut instict is my bestest friend. If it tells me it cn handle 15shots of hard liquor, i gv it.
Poor bastards, i thnk nxt time i drnk i'l offer libation 2our horny fallen comrades. May Dna testing bcome unaffordable 2spare u th horrid truth. Amen!
Nwy this note has really lost me...cnt even remember wot i wntd 2write i got this poundin headache dat diorients me. Its lk wen i chew cz of drinkin, all i remember is th last thing i did b4 th drink kickd in...n th pukin after th liver cleans it out!
Soo, i ges thats that!
Oh, n ya, my notes gv u insight in2 one way of how i thnk bt unless u knw me, all u got is data not info.

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