Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Metrosexuals and Sexuality

I'm not the manliest of guys. I lack th calloused hands and bulging muscles you may find on lumberjacks n construction workers... I'm not a big fan of fights or physical n verbal confrontation, neither am i a fan of turning the other cheek, so i can do quite a bit of damage defending myself in both cases.
My point is that on the scale of manly aggressiveness i don't rank with the big boys...or at least not that high up the ladder.
In retrospect, I'm not the most sensitive of guys. Its highly unlikely for me to open a door for you, but not out of the question. Pulling a chair for you is also hard, and I have to like you a lot to do that! PDA...that's another grey area...I gotta be in the zone where we are the only ones in the world to pull it off, n as far as I'm concerned, happened wit only one person.
Hell, I don't even know how to handle a girl angry with me, most times i'm too stubborn to say sorry or ask what's wrong(cz most times they say 'nothing').

Now that we have established i'm neither manly-manly nor sensitive-manly, the question begs - where do i lie? My answer, Definitely not metro-sexual!!
Metrosexuality came with the ships(ilikuja na meli) and is the 'white' man's way of having your cake and eating it in the sexuality context. So another question begs isn't this author being hypocritical and two sided also; you wear imported clothing, imported technology, use imported language and have vague knowledge of your culture. I say, wait for my point.
I have come into contact and interacted with metrosexual guys closely n my overall! I don't have a problem with gay guys per se, then again u wont find me playing a game of '1tequila, 2tequila...floor' or bottoms up with them. Have to give my ass-ets the benefit of the doubt.
Anyway metrosexuals smell flowery, dress flowery, do their nails, visit salons as clients and talk flowery. They also have the habit of gesticulating delicately while talking and touching touching other people a lot. I'd rather have an outright queen as a friend than a metrosexual, because at least u know a queen does guys and once you lay the ground rules which are basically along the lines of 'don't touch me' you can become pretty good friends. I believe metrosexual is just another term for 'i dont think i'm gay'. Metro or not, a guy placing his hand on my knee or any region between that and my shoulder is freaking creepy, between knee and waist is asking for trouble. Trying to talk into my ear while facing me...wrong move... Why the fuck do they do that? I hv 2chant 'thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not kill' to myself as i try to pull away as discreetly as possible, to keep from using a bottle on your head. Just admit you like guys at once and drop the term, i mean we live in the most liberal of times, you can get away with almost anything short of bestiality...nobodys judging. If i was a girl i'd probably swing both ways too.
So, recently i was disturbed to realize proximity between two people leads to some sort of bonding developing... Even more disturbing is the ensuing behaviour. So i ask, how do you handle a situation where a guy behaves like he's got feelings for you? This is not like a bromance at all. Bromances are like bff between guys, quite innocent and really common. This other one is really weird... When a guy, who i presume to be hetero, starts acting all possessive over me, all the alarms go off at once...i dont want to ask Aunt Susan for answers coz she can be a trifle nasty...
Anyway, i'm really quite comfortable with my sexuality, and this comfort developed from unlikely quarters...back in seminary.
I never really thought much bout homosexuality until this nasty rumour was started. The problem with such types at an early age is that you get really confused because you wonder if there's a point to the rumour bout yourself you never considered...recipe for self doubt and other shit. When i'm more daring with my writing I'll expound on the self doubt bit. Bottom line is i discovered i'm strongly monogamous and love girls a lot...
So in a time when guys are coming out of the closet...let them do so openly without prejudice, but for fucks sake they should buy that gaydar new batteries. Don't try convert others, it has been satisfactorily verified its detrmined soon after conception.

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