Saturday, December 12, 2009

Paper or plastic?

A week in which i decided 2 semi-bum n watch all th awesome muvis n series i'd misd out on. So jobbo was testees area n no work. Bt my new faves now is Dr Who n dat awesome Inglourious Basterds(dats ow they spelled it). Th thing i lv bout most bout it includin th scalpin, brad pitts accent, th qn bout takin off d nazi uniform n th swastica carved into th forehead, is that Hitler actually dies! Quentin is a freakin genious, so as i follow up n try get th killbill muvi bak i'm watchn greek...n ponder on th craziest "i'm so straight..." statement i ever heard, cnt remember th muvi title though, but it went lk "i'm so straight, i'd have a dick in my mouth, anaa one up my ass, two in my hands n i'd still be straight!" i laughed so hard i didnt pee myself a little.
I also tried to watch th vampire diaries cz i believe vampires r so awesome n shit. Nwy this series was/is a total rip off! I'd produce better special effects drawin in th sand wit my pee! Who the fuck heard of vampires practisin abstinence? N walkin in th daylight...bullshit! Dats y i stopd watchn moonlight at episode 2! They suck! So i take out th bad taste by watchn underworld n interview wit th vampire, at least these ones suck blood, die in th sun n fuck wit th frenzy n stamina expected of them.
Anyhoo, funny story, juzi was hukn up wit a gud frnd 2catch up. So i'm chillin for her, n maybe i was lukn all vulnerable cz i shaved n shit, cz this 40sth lady walks up 2me n starts hittin on me outright. I'm usually very curious n this time i was wonderin ow sh planned 2get me into bed, my moral tellin me dat its doin a research along th lines of what is good for th goose, but in this scenario th gander. So sh mentions money n inwards i rolled my now i'm getn uncomfortable n wonderin if this is how organ harvestin courtship is done. Thankfully enough my salvation came jst in time...n th potential organ harvester got flustered n embarrassed cz it was a hands down loss in th looks dept. So she introduces herself as my aunt n does a graceful exit. I wonder ow much my kidney wud go for in th market tho....incase i go superbroke *ahem!* Had a gud time after, twas refreshing n awesome.
Sometimes i get so miserable n hopeless durin th manic depressions i consider strikin a deal wit th devil. It is actually a miracle dat i still believe in God, cz in between th physics, th philosophy n th misery, th facts r pretty solid. So to strike a deal wit th devil u need 2 hv lk a devil's advocate(evil lawyer, pun effect) n a human sacrifice, at which point a number of faces spring up, particularly former classmates who tried dampen th spirit of campus which is meaningless sex, endless booze, drugs n partying, n nursin hangovers in lecturehalls after getn 2a two hour lecture one n a half hours late bila apology. Problem wit th devil is i doubt he provides a 'soul back guarantee' lk he did to Faust.

Thats brings me to anaa hard fact i hv to deal wit, which is dat i gotta defer anaa sem, which sucks donkey considerin i'm inches frm th finish line. So as i watch my classmates plan to graduate cnt help but go down memory lane. Th few friends i managed to make cz tho social, i'm nt a people person. I'ma cherish em forever. As for th rest, it dnt rily mean anything to me, th unwarranted backstabbing n rumours n talk of me being an asshole n a loser...vengeance is like new laced wine in old winebags...or vodka n a naked flame...tick grim reaper sharpens th scythe rusted by th drool of the anticipation of the chase...
Anyway akina deno, mercy, ali-B na sippy, congrats, been a long journey but it doesnt end here...saved my ass alot of times n i'l b joinin u soonest....
Tomorrow might attend a family reunion, n since my old self is back, i aint even gona fake a smile or try to be nice...
Q: What is so special bou Jehovah's witnesses dat makes em shun prayin wit people in other faiths? We gon taint their prayers or ambukiza em sth? Cnt even accept blood tranfusions or surgery. Living in a prude little world called Delusia, wea God helps those who wont help themselves. Good luck getn into heaven cz of a burst appendix. Dont bother to bring refrigerator magnets!
Nyhoo along came a client wit a carrot lookin for an ass. Client dangles carrot n ass makes mistake of maintaining eye contact wit carrot for a second too long. Client mistakes ass for pussy n tries to ride it facing backwards. Ass brays, rolls on th ground, picks up carrot, shows client th hoove(cz it aint got th finger) n shoves carrot up client's ass! Client dusts himself n walks off promising to come wit a whip. Ass is given biblical power of speech n tells client 2turn asexual n "go fuck yourself!"
Client fails 2find better faster ass wit chariot or saddle n does th U walk of shame... Ass no work with one carrot now, need one for energy 2 walk and another to replenish energy cz th walk is oh so long n th client oh so fat sweaty n wearin story continues

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