Monday, December 21, 2009

The Diaries: Admah - Sidona

"Soon baby, real soon, he is pretty interested in meetin u too!"
Oh damn, i groaned inside. Not him again. U know that uncle you have, the one who smiles at u yet has it in for you cz u r better than his kids n more promising? Well, there he was staggerin down th road we were goin up. H was still in th back wit one half of th twins n th other was upfront, her cherubim warmth heating up my gnoolies.
"Helloo kids, where you up to?"
"Admah! Hows th wife?"
Almost everyone, except her maybe, knew uncle Malek had a bond with the milk lady...the type that happens in th loin area...
"Oh, just th usual...nag nag nag! Should ave taken th cows ua granpa offered to keep me frm marrying her. I thought he hated me, but now i realize he had th gift of foresight.
"So what's taking u to Admah?"
"Nothing, just deliverin hay"
And he walked off without another word.
We got there in the evening n parked in the market where we were to pick up another buddy n head on over to the party. There was a crowd gathered around an old man dressed in rags...hmmm, this should be interesting... Hey, he was tellin a parable or prophecy. Didnt care either way, th stories are usually very funny...
"Abraham assembled a machine of infinite power. A machine so powerful it can do most of our work in a few seconds. That machine could do anything, it can write letters and send messages. It was a marvelous machine!
"Isaack came and marvelled at it and looked it over...He tried to use the machine but to no avail...all it did was beep.
"Isaack distressed, knelt down and prayed, then stood up, looked the machine over again then turned to Abraham,'Father, i have looked this machine over n realized we cant use it because it doesnt have the memory!'
"Wise old Abraham looked at his son calmly, understing the naïvety of youth. 'Do not worry my son, God shall provide the RAM!'"

Eh? The prophet was lookin at us wit a bemused expression like he'd jst given th punch to a really good line. It was H who mouthed th words everyone was thinking,"Damn these prophets n their postdated jokes!"
Th guy we'd come for failed to turn up so off we went, this time H was at th front n i was at th back with both th girls. I ges i'd expected th coupling setting would resume so that i'd make my move, now that i was free of th driving responsibility. Apparently fate thought differently...
So i leaned over n whispered in th ear of th third wheel that H might need company upfront. "Nah," she whispered,"i like it here, thank you!" So i mused a bit, maybe th prophet could help me come up with a word that basically sums up instructing somebody to grow extra organs n go have intercourse by themselves, a word whose vocal inflection would leave no doubt in the recepients mind that theyve been insulted. But alas our generation had just come by th invention of th wheel only too recently, our vocabulary hadnt evolved much.
My thoughts were interrupted.
"Besides i can see the way u lookin at my sister n we do everything together....EVERYTHING!"

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