For mpesa the one testicled man was king

Sometime i really get frustrated at a little something called protocol. I know the title may be termed as a tad misleading but i got it from the saying "in the land of eunuchs, the one testicled man was king". Crass? It's about to go downhill then.[ps. i got both testicles intact]

In Kenya there is a money transfer system which has revolutionalized transactions and the way business is run. It has been termed brilliant and empowering and all that business "professional" bullshit. To me it also reflects the number gormless idiots live in this country. In the terms i directly used on some of them, a bunch of dumb fucks.

I understand how the system has helped businesses grow and i know how it has eased out the issue of unemployment(to a degree). I also get how it has helped the government in terms of tax, so that our stupid MP's get something more to waste. But some of the logic does not compute...in latin it's something along the lines of non sequitur(?).

Anyway, the part of the logic that fails me is when it comes to depositing. Since time immemorial when the first caveman offered shell storage services where other cavemen came to deposit their excess shells for storage till a rainy day, he never asked the cavemen to show their identifying rocks before depositing. Or biting a clay template or some shit like that. That habit was carried down over the centuries to todays banks where you aren't required to produce identifying documents to deposit money. I can't go into deeper details about why it isn't necessary except by saying banks earn from the money saved with them. They are gentlemen and have a limit to how far they will screw you...unless you are taking a loan or mortgage.

Today I forgot to carry my id....-fuck it-, i didn't forget to carry my ID. I am a  proud Kenyan and love my freedom so i never carry my id because i am free to walk around anywhere in this country without having to produce my identification documents to anyone. As long as I'm not infringing on anybody's rights so i have the right to do whatever the fuck i want to do whenever the heck i want. So i needed to send some cash urgently and hit the first vendor(that's what they're called, right?) and it was easy, didn't need documents but their float was several thousands less than what i needed to deposit, so i just deposited what was available and moved to the next one.
This is where i got ticked off. So the lady, a nice looking lady, kinda easy on the eyes, got around asking my number; i told her, asked me if i had an id, i shrugged. she looks at me and asks me whether i had my id, i told her no, coz i was making a deposit, not a withdrawal. She looks at me and without batting an eyelid tells me i cant make a deposit without my national identity card or passport. Without batting an eyelid i look at her squarely and told her to go fuck herself, turned and left. Ok, i didnt tell her to go fuck herself...ok i did.
At the next place i was a bit more open to reasoning with stupid people. So the conversation goes:
"hi[stupid people], i would like to deposit"
"K, you have your national id card"
*Shrugs*
"What's your number?"
"072 asterix asterix asterix...etc"
"Where's your id?"
"I don't need it"
"excuse me [finger snap] but you need your id to deposit"[ok, I've exaggerated]
"*bored face*i know the number off-head...it's my id ainnit?"
At this point i was bored, but i had already exhausted my weekly quota of "go fuck yourself"s so my attitude changed to something akin to patience. So i go:
"why do you need my id?"
"Because it's required"
"Yes, we've already established that[inner groan], i mean why do you need it?"
"To identify you"
"I have my health insurance card with me, acceptable in most institutions for identification purposes"
The last bit was drawn out in a duh kind of way...seriously! stupid people.
"When you are typing out your thing, do you enter my id number anywhere?"
"No, but we need it to know it is you who is depositing"
"huh? never mind. After you deposit to my number, what happens? On my side i get a confirmation text, yours?"
"We also get a confirmation text"
"Good, we're getting somewhere now!
"In that confirmation text...YOUR vendor confirmation text, is the id number featured anywhere?"
"No"
"So why do you need my id again?"
"[instead of a light bulb, a candle flickers somewhere in her TINY TINY brain only to get extinguished] To identify you"
"In this whole process why is my id needed when any identifying documents would suffice?"
"To know that it is you"
"[inner groan] Look here(stupid), i have a document whose names match the names returned in the confirmation sms. Isn't that enough? I mean, if i could fake the names in your confirmation sms wouldn't that mean the integrity of the whole mpesa process is compromised?"
"huh"
"i mean, it's not necessary to require an id to DE-PO-SIT[mouthed syllable by syllable for emphasis] money... even banks don't require that part! coz it's redundant!"
"We need your id to deposit money"
"You know what, GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!"
And i left.
For those who don't see the logic, or lack of it in this case...well maybe you're reading the wrong blog...perhaps... And i bid your farewell.
Keep safe

Write Thinking: Matatu Trip

This entry is kind of different since i'm doing it on the go. It's based on a style of writing i picked from a good friend.
The matatu i'm in inches forward. I look outside at the flyover being constructed by wu yi and co. It looks really stable but i can't help but note a flaw in the system but then again i'm not an engineer to determine the structure of struts, girders and all.
The matatu inches forward several meters. In the background they are playing kenny rogers' gambler. I think of trump cards and my thoughts stray to my girlfriend. Relationships have interesting dynamics. Personally, i usually avoided them because of all the emotional investment they require, meaning before you get into one you have to be triple, quadruple sure of the person you're doing it with. I am happy, some rough patches here and there, but it's all good.
Yaay, the traffic is moving at least. I look around the vehicle. I'm seated near the back so i have vantage position. I remember my shrink asking me about my fears. His question had been specific at first, 'Ben, in a matatu do you pick the vantage point maybe because you are scared of an accident and dying.'
Of course i told him as long as i'm not sitting between two people, i'm good to go. Of course by now he also knows i barely have any phobias. Self imposed shock therapy worked magic for me. Why i'm seeing a shrink is a story for another day.
The matatu is really eating the asphalt now. Progress. I look at the pretty girl in at the back and smile. No flirting. I'm smiling because the guy next to her has his pits next to her face. Smile is evil now...haha.
I think of my job. The paradox that is my personality comes into question over its usefulness. I don't know whether it is because i stayed so long without having my bipolar treated or what is the cause, but i am a child of two worlds. When my girlfriend calls me a geek, i always correct her and say half-geek. Reason being I'm at home in the forest or ocean depth(been there done all that) as well as behind a pc.
Back to my job. I know i love coding, the money in it may not be all that especially compared to alternative careers i could easily get into but i stay on for the love of the code. Coding is like poetry, but with methods and properties.
The outside is just a blur now and i think of my best friend (former). I recently realized i have more female friends than male. I guess it has something to do with having daddy issues. Though in retrospect as a kid i grew up with pretty girls all around me and i am used to getting hit on, though that is neither here or there since i'm write thinking(picked that from another friend).
15minutes and i'll be home. Been on the road for a little bit over half an hour now. Short journey.
Now onto me. I like this trip because i get to think. Sometimes i get too conscious of my being 'ergo tum'. It's not always a good thing, me reflecting over me, especially now that i've run out of meds and can't afford them for the next week or so. I'm usually too curious in testing the limits of my existence. I have this theory about death. It's really straight forward actually. If you are not scared of dying then you won't die. Sometimes i wonder, is it really that bad? I mean if the other side was so horrible wouldn't somebody have escaped and let out a warning before being dragged back. So yes, i believe in an afterlife. Life in itself is inexplicable, and i know this might be a fallacy, but the existence of life justifies the existence of an afterlife, cogito ergo sum. It is arguable whether all sentient beings continue on after they die but i believe animals also probably have a thereafter.
Anyway i've reached the end of my journey which means this session of write thinking is over.
Keep well my friends.

Whom Do You Believe In

Funny story where i got the topic for this entry. An episode of Tom and Jerry where tom had read in a book that a cornered mouse is harmless. Then got the crap beat out of him when he managed to corner jerry. Regardless of where i got the heading, this will be one of my more serious entries. Politics and things politician.
I dabble in the philosophy behind politics sometimes and upfront, my views may seem naive and one sided. But i represent a considerable chunk of the populace, the 20sth year olds with access to information and influenced by social networks, though i drew the line at planking. Most of the time when politicians refer to the youth, they mean me and like minded others.
What does politics mean to me and what influences my voting criteria? Politicians promise a lot of things, they come bearing words of development, jobs, and more money...same old things we heard them promise when we were kids but somehow when they get into power forces beyond them change their mindset and the people get nothing.
I have a job, i was lucky i didn't have to rely on politicians to get it otherwise i'd have been among the thousands of university students wasting away at home waiting on promises of a brighter future. At least i can safely say i'm no longer hustling, but thousands are and most are already in despair, and they are degree holders! But i'll skip that for now, i've established there is desperation among a large chunk of th population.
A question we ask all the time is how come we see the same old useless politicians getting voted into power all the time? Aren't people sick and tired of being the politician's bitch year after year as they rob the taxpayer's money? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people(kenyans). Don't people get tired of seeing on the news the minister for agriculture or special needs ask 'what drought, who died?' When kenya gives Japan, a fucking DEVELOPED country, $1million there is no outcry.
My generation must be retarded or just plain stupid. Come voting time somebody will argue they won't vote because the same old leaders will come into power. Won't bother explaining the flaw in that argument.
My generation is the java generation, not the programming language, but the coffee place. My generation watches the news and is pissed at what the politicians are doing to our beautiful country. But that is soon forgotten. We'll sign an online petition and our duty to our country is done. My generation doesn't produce leaders it produces coffee zombies and sexual deviants. We are happy enough just to get laid and live like there is no tomorrow, like there are no diseases, like we won't have kids whom we would want to have a happy future and a country they'd be proud of. My generation loves twitter, tv series, spoken word and to fuck!
I admit this entry won't have a second draft and as such the ideas will not necessarily flow logically.
I'll go back to myself. I am a 20sth year old waiting to vote next year, my views represent the views of many of my peers. What am i looking for when picking who to vote for?
Age? Am i looking to vote for somebody closer to my age? My answer will be no. when i look at somebody like eugene all i see is a spineless little punk trying to ride the ghost of his dead brother and since spirits aren't tangible i see a little boy stumbling in the dark holding onto delusions of grandeur.
When i look at a politician like martha karua i have semblance of hope. Somebody determined to make a mark through actions not words. Instead of laying back and complaining 'oh, women aren't getting support because all the men have taken everything'(i don't like fida...cunts) she plays it as an equal. She may not have the money but she has that fighting spirit you can't help but love. Maybe she's lying through her teeth like everyone else but come tomorrow she is the one i'd most likely vote for, emphasis on 'most likely'. I have my doubts when it comes to some of the politicians she associates with like one mbuvi. But that is a story for another day.
Another politician that gets my interest is peter kenneth although i have big doubts over whether he can take the game to the big boys the way martha does. He would probably be my ideal candidate come 2017 but not 2012.
Anyway my decision is not based on tribe otherwise several others would appear but i refuse to contribute to their online presence by mentioning them especially one mr wiper. Anyway i've run out of characters since i'm on my phone so hopefully i'll fill in the missing blanks once i get to my laptop.
Keep well, vote wisely