Paper or plastic?

A week in which i decided 2 semi-bum n watch all th awesome muvis n series i'd misd out on. So jobbo was testees area n no work. Bt my new faves now is Dr Who n dat awesome Inglourious Basterds(dats ow they spelled it). Th thing i lv bout most bout it includin th scalpin, brad pitts accent, th qn bout takin off d nazi uniform n th swastica carved into th forehead, is that Hitler actually dies! Quentin is a freakin genious, so as i follow up n try get th killbill muvi bak i'm watchn greek...n ponder on th craziest "i'm so straight..." statement i ever heard, cnt remember th muvi title though, but it went lk "i'm so straight, i'd have a dick in my mouth, anaa one up my ass, two in my hands n i'd still be straight!" i laughed so hard i didnt pee myself a little.
I also tried to watch th vampire diaries cz i believe vampires r so awesome n shit. Nwy this series was/is a total rip off! I'd produce better special effects drawin in th sand wit my pee! Who the fuck heard of vampires practisin abstinence? N walkin in th daylight...bullshit! Dats y i stopd watchn moonlight at episode 2! They suck! So i take out th bad taste by watchn underworld n interview wit th vampire, at least these ones suck blood, die in th sun n fuck wit th frenzy n stamina expected of them.
Anyhoo, funny story, juzi was hukn up wit a gud frnd 2catch up. So i'm chillin for her, n maybe i was lukn all vulnerable cz i shaved n shit, cz this 40sth lady walks up 2me n starts hittin on me outright. I'm usually very curious n this time i was wonderin ow sh planned 2get me into bed, my moral tellin me dat its doin a research along th lines of what is good for th goose, but in this scenario th gander. So sh mentions money n inwards i rolled my eyes...plus now i'm getn uncomfortable n wonderin if this is how organ harvestin courtship is done. Thankfully enough my salvation came jst in time...n th potential organ harvester got flustered n embarrassed cz it was a hands down loss in th looks dept. So she introduces herself as my aunt n does a graceful exit. I wonder ow much my kidney wud go for in th market tho....incase i go superbroke *ahem!* Had a gud time after, twas refreshing n awesome.
Sometimes i get so miserable n hopeless durin th manic depressions i consider strikin a deal wit th devil. It is actually a miracle dat i still believe in God, cz in between th physics, th philosophy n th misery, th facts r pretty solid. So to strike a deal wit th devil u need 2 hv lk a devil's advocate(evil lawyer, pun effect) n a human sacrifice, at which point a number of faces spring up, particularly former classmates who tried dampen th spirit of campus which is meaningless sex, endless booze, drugs n partying, n nursin hangovers in lecturehalls after getn 2a two hour lecture one n a half hours late bila apology. Problem wit th devil is i doubt he provides a 'soul back guarantee' lk he did to Faust.

Thats brings me to anaa hard fact i hv to deal wit, which is dat i gotta defer anaa sem, which sucks donkey considerin i'm inches frm th finish line. So as i watch my classmates plan to graduate cnt help but go down memory lane. Th few friends i managed to make cz tho social, i'm nt a people person. I'ma cherish em forever. As for th rest, it dnt rily mean anything to me, th unwarranted backstabbing n rumours n talk of me being an asshole n a loser...vengeance is like new laced wine in old winebags...or vodka n a naked flame...tick tock...th grim reaper sharpens th scythe rusted by th drool of the anticipation of the chase...
Anyway akina deno, mercy, ali-B na sippy, congrats, been a long journey but it doesnt end here...saved my ass alot of times n i'l b joinin u soonest....
Tomorrow might attend a family reunion, n since my old self is back, i aint even gona fake a smile or try to be nice...
Q: What is so special bou Jehovah's witnesses dat makes em shun prayin wit people in other faiths? We gon taint their prayers or ambukiza em sth? Cnt even accept blood tranfusions or surgery. Living in a prude little world called Delusia, wea God helps those who wont help themselves. Good luck getn into heaven cz of a burst appendix. Dont bother to bring refrigerator magnets!
Nyhoo along came a client wit a carrot lookin for an ass. Client dangles carrot n ass makes mistake of maintaining eye contact wit carrot for a second too long. Client mistakes ass for pussy n tries to ride it facing backwards. Ass brays, rolls on th ground, picks up carrot, shows client th hoove(cz it aint got th finger) n shoves carrot up client's ass! Client dusts himself n walks off promising to come wit a whip. Ass is given biblical power of speech n tells client 2turn asexual n "go fuck yourself!"
Client fails 2find better faster ass wit chariot or saddle n does th U walk of shame... Ass no work with one carrot now, need one for energy 2 walk and another to replenish energy cz th walk is oh so long n th client oh so fat sweaty n wearin spurs....th story continues

Text trails

So now i'v switched to using my blog to create notes. Losin my best work to fb totally suckd.
Nwy was goin thru my texts n realized, i got some texts goin back over 3years! n i'm sure if i hit restore several times on th nokia pc suite, i'ma see wonders. Thousands of txts, so to go thru em obviously needs a comp, but it provides for interestin food for thought esp wen bored, nt depressed. Nwy, an early disclaimer, txts frm dudes neva hit th 24hr mark... N i'm ommiting th names of girls.
Th earliest texts frm my first girl wen i was 18 n lied my age cz sh ws older by a couple of years n i had to 'hit that'. So sweet n loving, maybe i was innocent in dat area then, until sh said th three words n we drifted. I wsnt ready to commit then. This period overlaps wit what i lk 2refer as th gray area wea me n my best pal got into a trade dat nt many straight guys venture into n for th same reason got out. Crazy months thea n th girls...walala! didnt ave a fon then but had a sim card frm which i got th txts.
But th sad thing i realize was thea was neva any drama n most of th texts went unreplied. Funny thing they confirm is d rlshps ended quite amiably bila fights or any of that bitter shit cz back then, i rily neva gave a fuck, it was just sex n gudbye...ya we still friends n some still hope i'd change n be serious wit em, but i always loved bygones. I ges dats y i wen for such a long time bila knowing what a heartbreak was n karma was my bitch!
Bt its th txts rangin d last year n a half dat r interestin. I got a stalker...dats wen i bought my first p.c. 'dyu hv a computer, i got an assignment due mon.' i ges i was too distracted playin san andreas to do th math n realize coming all th way frm usiu to k.u to do typin didnt rily mk sense, but i had a laptop i was fixin for a frnd n word was functional, so i figured what th hell let her do her work.
Sh came, i let her work frm th bed n i set th volume to full, i lv wctr(its a radio station in san andreas wea th presenters esp maurice r crazy, n Sage on Dust is wicked too). Played for hours n was jst bout to unlock las venturas when my pc went PUFF in smoke, literally. Th power supply gone.
Everyone knows ow easily i get bored so i turn my attention to th girl, who my roommate is tryin 2chat up, tryna figure a way 2get th laptop away frm her n put some music on. I peek at what sh's been doin n did a double take 2confirm, six hours n all sh got is one page...warr?
Sh was shallow n dumbwise, d other reason i wntd th music, i'v neva rily liked shallow people, bad thoughts flow wen they gv me attention no matter how pretty...i want 2lk strike a match n watch them go 'wow! Fire in a box!'
Nyhoo sh goes lk 'i got a kink in my back cz of all th typin' n shit. I'm curious as to how this will go, cz sh wants a massage. In th end it stank, i had to tk a shower 4lk 2hrs cz i felt filthy, did unholy shit to get her out. Nxt morning a knock on th door n voila! Everyone who was thea knows i just walkd out. U treat a chick lk crap n sh comes back cz a dumb friend told her dat wen guys do this they actually lk u, bitch if i liked u, i'd treat u lk a queen cz its a blue moon kinda thing 4me.
I was haunted by txts n calls for months, i tried to tell her i had a (fake)chic, nathn, i was gay, nathn, i'm gona hunt u, chop ua body into little pieces n mail em 2ua parents, RESULT!
Dat was th excitin thing last year, apart frm my ex. It ws gud at first cz sh was hot n we didnt talk much n when we did i numbed my brain a bit by crushin a testicle wit my elbow, funny thing...we didnt exchange txts wit her.
Some more txts here wit th rebound girls n other interestin almosts...notes on it later.
This year's events, almost hukn up wit sbdy i had a crush on since i was 18, then being mercilessly crushed last minute. D txt trails a painful footprint. But i'm glad dat hapnd cz it led me to th awesomest girls ever, n neva even got a chance to mope. Th problem wit pushin sbdy who loves u away is dat u might push em in2 th hands of a more compatible soulmate...hence endeth a trail of this nice invention called the cellphone! Th future is clearer now

Mental issues

Just woken up frm a crazy nite n checks 2my calls register confirm my worst fears 'drunk' calls! Nxt time i get a spontaneous plot i cut my sim card in half...its cheaper dealin wit dat outcome.
Nwy as i ponder my nxt move cz wot is done is done, n ow 2clean up d mess i bask in th memory of th poor girl whose mind i pickd till sh had 2cut short her shift to go cry, mope or whatever.
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I'm always curious bout clients who insist on takin th biz talk 2clubs n orders a milli drinks n refuses for u 2take any form of food cz u jst get shit faced 2quickly. Why do this?
So now, th morning after my ulcer fuckn hurts lk hell n i gotta question whether it was worth th deal we nailed. Yeah i'm turning off my phone today cz thea aint no fuckn way i'm doin that again, esp today, no!
Anyway apart from breakin my number1 rule for drinkin, which is 2neva do it cz sbdy is pressurin me to do it, i also did it on an empty stomach, made calls n txts i rily don wana think bout right now, n neva took anythng to dampen th effects.