My pillow, my confidant

Each nite i turn to you
I bury my face in your warmth
Only you know my pain
The reason i got bags in my eyes
Aging before my time
As i shift you from side to side
Hopelessly seeking for that healing elixir, sleep

Its only you i can turn to
In a world that has mostly shown me pain
As i watch pieces of me float around me
And wash away to be damned
As i helplesly watch, too numb

Its only you i can hold
To take in my tears, that are so normal now
As i hug myself looking for that reason
To take my next breath
And get out of bed

As i turn to Him, the one with th reason
Take this cup from me
For i am not that strong
I am not The One, i dont have the will
You dont just give a glimpse of heaven
Then drag me to the abyss
For i'm not that strong
I cnt walk, for there is no light
Why show me, if i cnt have it?

My bestfriend, guardian of my secrets
Knows of my losses, n my bigger losses
My cushion as th burden of mistakes past n mistakes present
Weigh in, n close in for the kill
Holding my hand as i open my eyes
For one last time, to witness my execution